The One Armed Mama

Jacob broke his arm this last month and it has been an  adventure.  He and I laugh as I try to help him wrap the splint.  You see I suffer from a common malady that affects mothers with babies and young children.  I only ever have one arm free!  So he uses his one good arm and I use my one good arm and together we get a decent wrap on his splint.

The malady affects all aspects of my life, from cooking to using the facilities :).

 I am holding a screaming baby who is bent on lunging out of my arms as I stagger to help lovely little Lucy wipe herself in the bathroom (seriously, no one warned me this was in my job description).
I snag a moment to get dressed, using only one hand for buttons, sometimes I amaze myself.  I button and unbutton toddler coats with one single hand, all while they are tugging and twisting AND said baby is doing the stiff back arch.

Then on to one of my most cherished accomplishments...unscrewing the jam jar lid with only one hand, I kid you not, it can be done!  I then butter the bread, single handedly (tip, leave the butter out of the fridge, soft butter is so much easier to spread!).

Imagine sitting down to a tastey one arm prepared meal, only to realize it will all be cold by the time you use your non dominant hand to clumsily eat it, but such is life.

Who can forget holding the seat of your child's bike as you race along the local sidewalk with  a baby in your other arm?  EPIC...

This one gets me every time.  I must write just one quick email.  The baby is tired...The odds are not in my favor ... I type the password (capitol letters and all) using just one hand and sometimes my nose, I hardly never ever get it the first time, but practice makes perfect I suppose.  Email complete.

You see, even the simplest of tasks can get wildly difficult and frustrating.  meanwhile the laundry piles up.  I seize the moment.  Ten minutes later I have sorted a load.  I am ready to put in the soap.  This is next to impossible!  The soap is brand new, from costco, the economy size and it weighs a ton!  The challenge...I must use my "wimpy" arm to pour the 10 ton container into the small soap opening.  This is especially challenging if you are short like me, but can be done.

Now the kitchen floor beckons.  It is begging to be swept, but alas is the one armed mama up to the challenge?  Not today.  She has to beg for help from her handsome helpful husband.  He is happy to help, but the floor will be back tomorrow and maybe her helper won't be there to rescue her next time.  So she will just sweep the guck off to a lonesome corner of the kitchen until she has 2 hands handy to use the dust pan (This, to my knowledge cannot be done one handed :)).  I won't even start on my vacuuming skills!

With each child my list of accomplishments grows, buckling seat belts, running baths, washing kid's hair, opening all manner of items, cooking pancakes, cutting bread, pouring milk, dressing dolls, putting on shoes,  straining noodles, making gravy, brushing hair, you name it, and I have tried it...one handed.

Now I could not end this post without a shout out to my helpful toes and feet.  They have become lightening fast at picking up items.  They can even put said items in the trash can with amazing accuracy.

So...duty calls, I am off to face another day, maybe not single handedly, but definitely one armed :)